“We are not amused.”
Since the publication of Law & Disorder, we have taken a number of opportunities to chronicle misconduct by police, prosecutors and judges that has led to unfortunate or downright tragic consequences. Apparently, this police misconduct can reach to the very highest levels and the very innermost circles.
And now it can be told.
As reported by the British newspapers The Telegraph and The Guardian, the telephone hacking scandal trial at London’s venerable Old Bailey involving the now-defunct Rupert Murdoch-owned News of the World, revealed one particular smoking gun memo. It was sent from royal editor Clive Goodman to chief editor Andy Coulson and detailed that royal protection officers were eating Queen Elizabeth’s nuts.
And Her Britannic Majesty was furious.
There is a principle in British common law, from which our own legal concepts derive, that any offense against one of the sovereign’s subjects is considered an offense against the sovereign himself or herself, and is therefore tried by the state. And it should go without saying that the opposite must be true: any offense against the sovereign is likewise an offense against all of the sovereign’s subjects.
According to Clive Goodman’s sources, Buckingham Palace staff left out bowls of “cashews, Bombay mix, almonds, Etc.,” throughout the royal apartments. “Prob is,” according to the memo, “that police on patrol eat the lot.”
But we have to commend the Queen for going proactive, which is something we wish we saw more of over here when those in the public trust abuse their power and discretion.
“Queen is so narked [must be an English term] she started marking the bowls to see when the levels dipped. Memo now gone around to all palace cops telling them to keep their sticky fingers out.”
“These are unproven charges,” the judge was quick to point out when laughter broke out among the jurors. But we tend to believe them, and commend the Queen for holding the police to the high standards of their sworn duty.
And in that, she has set an example for us all.
I thought fondling the royal nuts was Camilla’s job now…
Good point. Unfortunately, our sources don’t reach that deep into the royal family.
Mark,
There is a case that I am researching that you and Mr Douglas might find interesting. The circumstances are similar to the Susan Collins case that the two of you wrote about in your second book. This case however involved a boy. In both cases the killer said he made it “look like” a lust killing. And in both cases the evidence shows it really was just that. Not a staged scene. However the suspect in this case only got second degree murder for a sentence. I am convinced that by the level of violence he very likely has a history of a quite a few more.
How smart is it to insult the same people you expect to take a bullet for you?
It’s not like she could not afford to buy more. She has more money than the guards will ever see in the whole lives put together.
I can’t help thinking it might be a royal gesture of goodwill if in addition to banishing the security detail from poaching nuts from the royals’ apartments, they were provided their own bowl and the Queen had let them eat nuts.
I was certainly thinking the same thing, Cornerstone. But I guess we don’t know how to think like a queen.
This is nuts!
I confess I would have eaten the nuts too… Thankfully, I am not one of the Queen’s loyal subjects.