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Geoffrey Portway

Geoffrey Portway

Today’s entry from the You-Can’t-Make-This-Stuff-Up file concerns Geoffrey Portway, a portly, 40-year-old, English-born resident of Worcester, Massachusetts, who pleaded guilty in May to distribution and possession of child pornography and solicitation to commit a crime of violence.

What was the intended crime of violence? According to police, it was to kidnap children, keep them in his basement dungeon, sexually abuse and torture them, and eventually murder and eat them. Portway, who went by the accurately descriptive online moniker “Fat Longpig,” told his digital correspondents how he planned to keep the kids in cages while fattening them up, Hansel and Gretel style, for his intended cannibalistic banquet.

So what should be done with a guy like this?

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