Erin Cox
An old friend of mine – a very prominent Washington, D.C. corporate attorney – always said that the key to success in any situation was to define and understand your ultimate objective. And if you could get all the lawyers in a conference room to agree on an objective, any legal problem could be solved.
We’ve been hearing a lot about “zero tolerance” policies lately, and you really have to wonder if some of the folks implementing them have considered what their ultimate objectives are and if they are implementing them effectively. We all know of incidents of kids with headaches being sent home from school because their parents gave them aspirin to take with lunch – violation of zero tolerance drug policy – or children who’ve been scolded for pointing their hands, gun-like and going bang – zero tolerance of firearms in school. But some of these interpretations can be outright dangerous.
Here’s one that really bothers me, and many other people as well.
About two weeks ago, Erin Cox, and honor student and star athlete at North Andover High School in Massachusetts, was publicly punished by being removed as captain of the volleyball team and suspended for five games for violating the school’s zero tolerance alcohol and drug policy. And what did she do to warrant such punishment, you might ask?
She received a call from a friend at a party who was too drunk to drive. Erin, stone sober, drove to the party to retrieve her friend and drive her home. While there, the police showed up and arrested 12 young people for underage drinking and issuing stern warnings to 15 others, including Erin. Even though a police officer confirmed in writing that she had not been drinking, the fact that she was present at a location where alcohol was consumed was enough to violate the school’s zero tolerance rule.
I hope, like me, your reaction is, Come on, now! This girl deserves to be rewarded and made into a role model, not punished. She very well might have saved her friend’s life!
And we have to ask the school authorities: What is your objective? If it is to get teens to stop drinking, you haven’t achieved it by such indiscriminate enforcement. And if it is to save life and limb by keeping teens from driving drunk, you’ve done just the opposite.
Wise up, people! You’ve got a gem of a young lady in your midst and you don’t even realize it.
This calls to mind the case last year of Taylor Santos, another honor student and star athlete, at Springtown High School near Fort Worth, Texas. Another student had copied her classwork and school authorities accused her of “letting” this happen. Her punishment was two days suspension from class or a paddling in the vice principal’s office. Being responsible enough not to want to miss school, Taylor chose to be paddled.
Her mom became angry and complained only because her daughter came home with her bottom actually “bruised and blistered,” and the fact that the punishment was carried out by a male vice principal, with a female official present, a clear violation of school policy.
Now, we can debate the wisdom or merits of corporal punishment in school settings. But what is beyond debate, I think, is what positive outcome could possibly be accomplished by what was done to Taylor. What is your objective in either suspending or beating and humiliating a model student? What conceivable purpose does it serve? Is it going to make her study any harder, behave any better or raise her self-esteem? Is it going to deter other students from cheating? Again, folks, What is your objective?
On the adult level, this kind of thinking is similar to many states’ “three strikes and you’re out” policies, which are equally as meaningless and wrongheaded. There are numerous crimes in which “one strike and you’re out” is the appropriate legal response. There are others, like nonviolent drug violations or an accumulation of youthful crimes, where lives can be ruined by this simple arithmetic.
The point is, one size does not fit all and before you start rigidly and mindlessly enforcing your policy, you’d better figure out what you’re actually trying to accomplish, what your object actually is. Otherwise, you’re likely to do more harm than good.
I’m not saying the bullied kid should have shot kids but I’m saying what were his choices if his home life was bad too and nobody can get a guard at a school – we just talk a talk
If I have a job that starts at 8.. What then
Wisdom (health) says I need 8 hrs of sleep – what if I go to bed at 2 am – should my job wait until 10 although that’s best for my health – or should I try to go bed earlier – same thing as non drunk driver – everyone can protect their side – abused/bullied kids- college/jobs –
Jesus is the only mediator and he removes whatever sides
And in a time when anyone will sue and look to do so ..I side with school
Contracts – lawsuits – if u slave to money follow the rules. Because that’s why they have them. I pay your tuition – u don’t bring our image down as students in bars
As a former teacher of Spanish in secondary settings, I have found zero tolerance policies to be untenable. Numerous examples including the one above, shows that one size consequence does not fit all.
That being said, what should a teenager do in such circumstances? Drive her friend home, but then she has a drunk friend at home? Do the parents know? Consequences should be handled by responsible parents. My first experience in becoming intoxicated happened in 10th grade while visiting a cousin. We got tipsy at the next door neighbor’s house, so we waked home. I wasn’t hung over, but tired the next day. It was another 3 years before I drank again.
Regarding homework copying, in 10th grade World History class, my classmate behind me asked to see my writing. I thought it might give him some insight or ideas about what was going on. Instead he copied my paper. When I received it, I was given a “0”. I understood why, and accepted my consequence. But nothing I did for the rest of the course received more than a, B. I fumed, but readied myself. My opportunity came when during an in class activity, the teacher took the time to ask factual questions about the Norman Conquest. He asked the questions as fill in the blanks, and I answered the first, “William the Conqueror”, he started the second, and I interrupted, “Battle of Hastings”, he just started the 3rd and I stated, “1066”.
I stared at him, thinking, “I took my consequence, you continued it by devaluing my work, and now you, me and my classmates all know I know my stuff. Nothing you can do to me will change that.
I lacked the power to change his perception and actions, but I was not powerless.
Good evening Mindhunters!
Both of the situations described above are examples of authoritative forms of discipline that are likely to be quite pathological in nature. This form of discipline relies too heavily upon the force of one’s will; that is, the use of dominance, control and or humiliation, to induce the acceptance of someone else’s will at the cost or submission of one’s own and, in my opinion, is the root of many evils. This primitive practice is harmful for many reasons but for one, it teaches its recipient to do the same. Children learn to treat others by the way they are treated. This form of punishment can only serve to strip away one’s burgeoning sense of dignity. Self-respect is crucial for an adolescent to experience during this phase of personality development. Establishment of anything less will jeopardize their self-esteem, their sense of autonomy and volition. The capacity to experience the self as autonomous is a challenge typically consolidated during adolescence as it works through the same developmental milestone first negotiated in early childhood when the toddler, once locomotive, begins to explore the world beyond his or her mother. Caretaker sensitivity, parent or teacher, is crucial for healthy ego development and essentially determines the quality of all future interpersonal relationships, whether intimate or distant.
In your books coauthored with John Douglas, the pioneer of criminal profiling and its founder noticed a correlation, early in his research, between violent offenders and childhood exposure to punitive forms of parenting; i.e. dominance, control and humiliation (Obsession, Journey into Darkness and Mindhunters). Like most things, however, punishment severity exists along a continuum and can occur during different phases of an individual’s life, thus, its effects are different, some worse than others, but, nevertheless, noteworthy of its evident potential to harm others.
Dr. J
By the way, I truly enjoyed reading your books and just completed BTK. BTK is a difficult person and story to reconcile. Too bad it was not fictitious. Radar is a very frightening man and it’s not easy to simply shake off his crime spree as a serial killer once you hear the details.
In either case, they were all great reads, I am glad to be better acquainted with your work, background, history and career progression. It’s remarkable and inspirational. I would love to discuss my impressions further but at a more appropriate time. I did want to say, at least, how literally awestruck I was to learn about how profound this endeavor truly was with all the trials and tribulations you had to endure, not to mention, the physical and psychological impact of your work.. Glad you persevered to write about it. Your interwoven message of professional endurance was a very important message for me to hear. I am very grateful.
Thanks. Dr. J
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Schools are supposed to be about educating children not undermining the moral teachings of the parents. What this school did to this teenage girl was wrong. If a school did that to one of my grandkids they would be hearing about it at the state level, Board of Education Dept.,if need be, and someone would be losing thier job, and my grandkids would not be returning to school. I already don’t like the public school system because of some of their so called policies that are void of common sense.
I am so glad this is my grandkids last year in school. My oldest granddaughter graduates this year, My middle granddaughter is getting her GED in Febuary and my youngest will be home schooled next year, and will get her GED after that.
Parents have a difficult enough time raising their kids to do the right thing these days and when they succeed they don’t need someone who is supposed to be an adult punishing their kids for doing right.
I taught my daughter and all my grandkids and even told their friends, I’d rather you not drink, but if you do, Don’t drive, and don’t ride with someone who is drinking, or doing drugs either. Call someone to come pick you up even if you’ve only had one or 2 drinks, it’s Better to be safe than sorry.
Hi, My thoughts are….’Zero Tolerance’…
1. Is never a ‘intelligent’ or ‘logical’ policy because it does not allow for circumstances or unusual cases, you can’t do ‘justice’ that way, it is meant only as an ’emergency’ procedure.
2. It was originally meant to protect the schools and students while at school (I think a good idea)…but the schools authority/ school boards ‘zero tolerance’ authority ends at the school property line…they have zero right to enforce/ police/ punish the students where the students are outside of school (even at home)…..it’s unconstitutional, and exceptions must always be made to do justice.
3. As to the Texas matter….I’m not from Texas…and aren’t even going to make any Texas jokes….but in every US state I’ve been in and in my home state we’d call a grown adult man misusing authority to… ‘paddle’ young teen women age 14-17 on their ‘bottoms’….felonious assault, sexual battery, and CSC 3rd degree…and would send him to state prison for 10 years and put him on the pedophile sex offenders list. Maybe while in prison he could paddle the ‘bottoms’ of the other adult male prisoners more his size who could paddle back? or maybe they would ‘paddle’ his.
I thought such behavior was recognized as aberrant long time ago and recognized only to be for the sexual gratification of the spanker, and a physical/ sexual assault upon the spankee.
Again….if we could just get rid of the elected by 20% turn out public school boards of uneducated, bigoted, non professional, local homeowners, whack politicians….I think the public schools would be so much better off if the teachers ran them by committee and were overseen at state level by professional universities.
All good and sensible ideas, Watson; at least, I agree with them. I also agree that a male school official paddling a teenage girl – an honor student, no less – is not reasonable punishment, it is crime.
Likewise. Only by strength of will and overly developed defensive swag did I keep from getting my ass kicked. I still remember with relish the day after high school I was in a bar bathroom in line when the most feared female in my high school came in and I was finally towering over her not physically but in attitude. She wouldn’t even look me in the eyes. She was so mean. I have to give some of those beotches credit for making me as aware and intimidating as I would later become because considering the edge I dwelled on, it probably helped keep me out of trouble.
This is a big problem that reflects a larger issue. For example, Ed Kemper desired to be a police officer. However, he was turned down on account of his size. Lets say they slipped under the awareness of society and Dennis Rader had a son who was anti-government? Then what? Would not society be ruined? It has been, when a former legend like you JOHN are at odds with law enforcement; I am scared for the innocent. Are you? Or is it all about money and prestige? I love you to death but I know you don’t see whats going on here. My question is do you care.
The criminals are now cops, you see it right here there is your evidence. And Officer in Marion County drunk killed two and may get three years??? Have you heard of him??? Why not, because their treachery runs deep enough to evade even you, help us get back our justice system. You have my number, God Bless and this girl is a sweet kid and didnt deserve the jealous to attack her. Why then did they? Because they are not on her side. Then I ask why, thats abuse of their freedom. Use yours and have them fired, I know you can. It is up to you now John.
CMM
As far back as I can remember schools have either not punished anyone or they have equally punished the victims and bullies. That is what they mean by “zero tolerance.” They mean zero interest in really investigating incidences so that the guilty party alone can be punished. There is a false and very old school theory still out there that it takes the participation of both parties for an incident to happen, whether it’s bullying or copying.
Now, I have to say it is true that usually a person knows if someone is copying off them — but after all, whose job is it to keep watch and stop this, the timid student or the teacher’s? It’s often just another form of bullying.
At my schools, it was never “bullying.” It was “These two got in a fight,” but every student in the school knew clearly who the bullies were and were not.
So this is just another giant fail on the part of school administrators. In more recent decades the problem is only compounded by entitled parents of bullies who raise hell if their kid bullies someone and gets in trouble for it or doesn’t make good grades. It’s never their fault. This is a growing problem, not a shrinking one, and it’s going to take some stringent changes in the law to punish the school employees and the parents who participate in enabling bullying by simply trying to not deal with it at all.
You’ve brought back memories of my junior high school many moons ago. A 14 year old would pick on a 12 year old half his weight, and they’d both end up being suspended for 3 days.
Not to make light of the issue, Tom, but I get in a sweat of regressive memories if my junior high school-age nephew tells me he had trouble opening his gym locker.
High School, College, and throughout adulthood. When a friend calls to ask you to drive them home, it’s just something you do.
Absolutely right, Tom. And it is the kind of behavior we want to encourage, not discourage.